


To Hear Laughter

by Calintha



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Chaos, Friendship, Gen, Laughter, Male-Female Friendship, Slow Loss Of Hearing, hearing loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22725586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calintha/pseuds/Calintha
Summary: *Updates will be weekly after initial posting*They met at the hospital where she went for testing, hearing the sound of his laughter after she'd thought the sound gone from her life. Over time, a friendship builds and she finds a reason to smile again.When the chaos erupts in the city of Gotham, the only thing she cares about is hearing that laughter again, before it is gone forever, her hearing dwindling as the weeks pass. Best to cherish the sounds of her friend's joy while she could. After all, he was put on this Earth to bring joy and laughter. He'd said so himself.
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

The first time I saw him was at the hospital, waiting for the doctor to come give me the results of the latest round of tests. I'd been sitting there staring down the hallway, not looking at much of anything, when movement captured my attention. Blinking a few times as I tried to understand what I was seeing, my eyes suddenly widened at what I beheld. A clown was handing a small bouquet of fake flowers to a laughing child just outside of the doors to the children's wing.

The child quickly scurried back through the doors as the clown waved, shoulders slumping slightly once the doors had shut. Turning, he froze in place as he saw me watching him and I gave a small smile. I lifted my hand up to wave at him, mimicking his own movements from just moments ago. His lips twisted as a burst of laughter escaped him, his hands quickly reaching up to cover his mouth as my eyes widened at the sound.

"Oh... I'd almost forgotten what laughter sounds like," I said, unsure if he was able to hear me or not and honestly not caring.

I brought my own fingers up to feel my lips stretch into a smile, small flurries of laughter escaping me as I felt a warmth swell within my chest. Looking up, I saw him slowly lowering his hands, the laughter fading back into the silence that often surrounded me.

Taking slow steps he made his way closer, his eyes wide as he watched me smile up at him. Laughter was still slipping past my lips as I took in the way his face was painted and the green clown wig sitting upon the top of his head.

"Why are you crying?" His soft whisper came as he knelt down in front of me.

"Because I'm so happy that I can hear the laughter. I thought I'd lost it already."

* * *

The weeks passed slowly, the clown called Carnival frequently visiting the hospital to bring smiles to the children. If I was lucky, I would get to see him at some point during my visits, enjoying the laughter he brought with him. I loved getting to hear it, but I noticed how it was getting fainter at times and I was determined to hear it as often as I could.

"Carnival, is the hospital the only place you bring your laughter? Is there someplace else I could go to hear you?" I asked, staring at the man as I focused on his response.

"Umm, well, it changes a lot depending on what jobs are available where I work. Sometimes I'm just a sign spinner, sometimes I do stuff like this with kids, it depends on what my boss tells me to do. Oh, but sometimes I do standup comedy," he said as he sat beside me, resting his feet after a long day of bringing laughter.

"Standup comedy? Oh! Do you mean like that guy on the tv? Umm, what was his name? Frankie? No, umm... Murphy?" I was never good with names, having taken weeks to even learn the clown's name of Carnival.

"Do you mean Murray Franklin?" He said with a chuckle, his eyes glimmering as he leaned forward, head turned to look at me.

"Yeah! That's the one! Do you tell jokes like him?" I scooted forward, barely resting on the edge of the seat as I smiled, seeing the way Carnival seemed to come alive at the man's name.

Giving a small shake of his head, he sighed and leaned back again, his spine arching as he slumped down in the chair.

"Someday, maybe, but I'm still working on it. It's my dream to be on his show someday, you know. Bringing laughter is my purpose in life," he said before shoving himself up and out of the chair. "Speaking of, I should head out. I need to see what work is going to look like next week."

Standing up, I reached out a hand to brush against his arm before pulling it back to my side.

"Thank you, Carnival, for bringing laughter to this place. I'll see you next time, okay?" I smiled at him just as I saw my doctor turn a corner to come down the hallway. "Stay safe out there."


	2. Chapter 2

  
  
  
It was hard keeping a smile on my face today, my eyes unable to hold the joy that I normally felt when I saw Carnival show up in front of me. I'd tried so hard to not let him see but he always was far too observant, just as he had been when I'd spotted him at one of his other jobs.

Of course, that time it had been a good thing, since it meant he had spotted the signs of the panic attack before it had gone too far and he'd pulled me into a quieter area for me to deal with my anxiety. When the owner had come upon us while searching for the clown he'd hired, it had only taken a quick look at my tear-streaked face and shuddering breaths to realize why Carnival had vanished, even if he seemed to give a grumble about hurrying back before too much more time passed.

But today? Today I hadn't wanted him to notice there was anything off, not wanted to have to explain what was happening to me with the man I had come to view as one of the only friends I had left in this city. I'd managed to avoid talking about it thus far, letting him think that the anxiety attacks were the only reason I came to this hospital so often. Yeah, I could pretend that was what I was dealing with right now, but the thought of doing so left a bad taste in my mouth and I knew that if he said anything... if he asked me, I would finally tell him the truth.

"Hey, did something happen?" I wanted to cry when I heard the words come from his lips, certain sounds faded or missing and leaving just enough behind to know what he'd asked me.

Nodding, I looked down into my lap and uncurled my fingers from around the slip of paper, slowly smoothing out the creases that had formed. Lifting it up, I watched as he took the note from my hands and began slowly scanning the page, his forehead creasing in concentration.

"What does this mean?" He questioned me, lowering the note and pointing at one of the sentences.

"It means I've lost more of my hearing and it hasn't stopped getting worse. They want to up my medicine again, but every time they do that, I keep ending up sick. I... Sometimes I wonder if the doctor is trying to help me or if he's more interested in keeping me quiet," I whispered softly, my hands shaking as I took the note back from him.

"But why wouldn't he want to help you? Your so nice, surely he would want to make you better," he said, the look in his eyes leaving me staring at him for a moment before I leaned so close I could feel the warmth of his skin.

"Because the person who did this to me is the one paying for everything and he'll keep paying only as long as I don't tell anyone what he did. Even if I didn't take the medicine, I can't afford the tests I need each week," I barely breathed the words into his ear before pulling back and looking into his eyes.

"Then why did you tell me?" He looked confused as his lips turned down, leaving only the painted smile on his face.

"I... I feel like, out of everyone I've met, I don't have to worry that you'll hurt me. I don't even know if I can trust my doctor, but... I trust you, Carnival. Even if you think I'm silly for it, I trust you." I took a shuddering breath as I leaned back in the chair, my hands trembling in my lap.

"You can call me Arthur. That's my name, I mean. Carnival is just my clown name," he said, his voice dropping a little as he looked down toward the white tiles that blanketed the floor. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Arthur," I said as I looked up at him, sticking the note into my pocket as I stood up. "I like that. Arthur suits you very well."

"Your name suits you, too."


	3. Chapter 3

I'd been sitting in my usual spot waiting for Carnival, for _Arthur_ , to show up after he was done entertaining the children. It wasn't until the doctor arrived that I realized something must be wrong. He'd never shown up later than my doctor. Never.

"Where's Carnival at?" I asked, my voice worried.

"Who?" He asked, looking down at the chart in his hands.

"Carnival. The clown who comes to entertain the children. I haven't seen him today and he always stops by before he leaves for the day," I mumbled, my fingers twisting around each other as I worried about what could be keeping him for so long.

"Oh. Him. I heard he brought a gun with him, so he won't be returning here anymore," he said, his voice calm as if he hadn't just said something that brought a part of my world crashing down around me. "Now, I need to speak to you about the test results from your last visit."

Ignoring him, I hurried to my feet and ran down the hallways until I finally made my way outside, searching for any sign of Carnival. Of Arthur. Sadly, there was no sign of his green wig and oversized clothing amidst the dreary, muted colors that seemed to embody the average person. No bright orange vest under that too large jacket, no white face with a bright red smile or green wig with hair seeming to fly in every direction. There was no laughter to be found and part of me was afraid that if I couldn't find him... if I couldn't find Arthur, then I would never hear the laughter again.

I would never hear _his_ laughter again.

* * *

It had taken nearly an hour before I could convince the nurse to give me the information of where Arthur worked, far too late to head over there with how dangerous things had gotten. Tension in the city had peaked and things were not safe for a lone female with dwindling ability to hear things around her. The tightness of anxiety in my chest and the cold pit in my stomach at the thought of going someplace new didn't help, either.

No, tomorrow... I would go over tomorrow and find where Arthur was, where I could hear my friend's laughter once again. Surely he would understand why I waited. He'd always seemed to understand when the anxiety would get the best of me, just reminding me to breathe, even as he fought to get the words past his own laughter at times.

Checking yet again to make sure the slip of paper was still safely tucked away in one of my pockets, I boarded the subway train and slipped into a seat near the back. At least it wasn't so late that I wouldn't be able to get home before it got too dark to see the streets around me. It wouldn't do to make myself an easy target if someone was planning mischief.

I'd dealt with enough of that for this lifetime, after all. It was bad enough that I'd lost my hearing to such mischief. I didn't need to lose anything else, especially with how crazy things had gotten lately.

* * *

"What do you mean he's been fired?" I gasped the words out, feeling like the floor was falling away from under my feet.

"Just what I said. He's been fired. Brought a gun into a hospital, from what I hear," the large man said, a smirk on his face as he turned back toward the locker, pulling out a pair of shoes.

"Where is he? I need to speak to him! Does anyone know where I can find him?" I asked, my chest tight as I fought to keep calm, but I could see the way the edges of my vision began to grow dim.

"Are you the lady from the hospital?" Someone behind me said, the words barely even registering in my ears as a whisper.

Turning around, I saw a very short man standing there, no makeup on his face yet as he looked at me with a curious gaze. With a nod, I took a small step closer, my hands clenching together in front of my chest as I tried to slow my breathing down to a normal pace.

"Arthur talked about you sometimes. Said you were his friend, his hope," the man said, a smile appearing on his face. "Let me get a piece of paper. I can write down his address for you."

"That's my name. Hope, I mean. My mom said she named me that because I gave her hope for a better future. Sometimes I wonder if she was crazy, thinking Gotham would ever get better," I said, waiting for him to finish grabbing paper and pen before he began scribbling an address onto the sheet he'd found.


	4. Chapter 4

I couldn't help trembling as I felt the shudder of the elevator as it passed another floor, wondering if the next time it did so would be the one that broke the thing. I'd been in old elevators before and it never seemed to take much to cause them to stop working. The flickering light above did nothing to ease my worry and when it finally came to a stop and the doors opened, I was barely able to stop from flinging myself out of the worn machine, jumping slightly at the deep groan the thing gave before the doors shut behind me and it began moving back down to the ground floor.

"I think I'll take the stairs back down... It should be safer and at least I won't get stuck waiting for a firefighter to rescue me. If they would even bother to show up," I muttered to myself, turning right then left to peer at the worn unit markers on the nearest doors.

Turning left when I realized the unit I was looking for was likely on that side of the hall, I couldn't help nervously glancing down at the paper I held as I passed the first door, as if to make sure the number hadn't changed somehow. I spent far too long arguing with myself over whether or not I should just leave since Arthur hadn't even once invited me to his home or given me permission to come over. Heck, he hadn't even been the one to give me the address! Surely if he had wanted me to know where he lived, he would have done so and what kind of friend was I to even assume I had the right to come over unannounced and uninvited?

I spent so much time walking back and forth, turning around to go home before convincing myself that I would only stay long enough to find out if he was okay and let him know how to reach me so that if he wanted to, he could contact me in the future. I must have run my fingers through my hair a dozen times before I had even gone 10 feet down the hallway. By the time I was standing in front of the correct door, I could barely find the courage to knock, the timid sound of my knuckles meeting door not even registering to my ears.

"How pitiful am I that I can't even find the courage to knock properly on the door of the only man I even call fried anymore," I whispered as I turned away from the door in shame, stopping suddenly when I found my path blocked by a tired and confused looking man.

"I don't think you're pitiful... I mean, with everything you have been through and all that is going on in the world, you still find reasons to smile and laugh. And you found the courage to at least try and find me, although I'm not sure how you got my address," the man said, a nervous chuckle slipping from his mouth as he brought a hand up to hide his lips in a familiar gesture.

Feeling my lips begin to curl up at the corners as the anxiety began to finally fade enough that I no longer felt the burning at the corners of my eyes, I looked up into familiar eyes.

"Arthur, you're here... I found you," the words spilled from my lips as I began to laugh softly, relief filling me as I brought my hands up to cup his unpainted face. "I thought I had lost you. That I had already lost your laughter before I'd even lost the ability to hear it. Oh, Arthur, what can I do to help? Anything at all to help my most treasured friend, just say the word and if it is in my power..."

Pulling back slightly as I lowered my hands, I saw his lips move as words I could barely hear seemed to brush against my ears and imprint themselves onto my mind.

"I did something last night... something bad, but it made me feel so... free," he said as his eyes gained an intensity that I hadn't seen before. "I don't want to lose your friendship. You've always given me hope that the world can be better, but last night... I don't think you would like me anymore if you knew."

"Arthur, people have done horrible things to each other for a long time. Often for no good reason at all. But I don't think you would do anything to somebody without a good reason for it. If you want to talk about it, I'll be here to listen. Or at least try to listen as best as I can. And if you don't want to talk," I said, my hand reaching out to hold his as my mother used to hold mine when I felt sad or afraid, "I'll be here anyhow, whenever you want me to be. Because that is how friends are. We are still friends, right?"

"Yeah. You're still my friend, Hope. My only friend."


	5. Chapter 5

I spent the next few hours talking to Arthur, having waited in the hall until he put away the small bag he'd had shoved into his jacket pocket before he came back out and we headed to a nearby cafe for some coffee. He hadn't spoken again of what he'd mentioned outside of his apartment, but at least he had spoken with me and allowed me to give him my phone number and address.

After the cafe began to grow crowded with customers trickling in for lunch, we finally left and I grabbed Arthur's hand, dragging him to the grocery store across the street. He had argued at first, but I just continued to fill a handbasket with various cans and boxes of food that would last the next few days for him and his mother. When he seemed to actually be getting upset, I stopped in one of the aisles and spoke softly so that only he could hear.

"If our situations were reversed and you had the chance to help me, the desire to help, would you stand there silently doing nothing or would you take that first step toward doing what you could?"

He stopped arguing and stood there quietly for a while as I continued adding items to the basket, looking up at him with a smile when he added a single item to the basket with the simple explanation that it was one of his mom's favorites. I quickly added a few more before heading toward the counter to pay, sending Arthur to the back to grab a jug of milk, my arms too full to grab one myself.

After helping him carry the bags back to his apartment and making sure he got everything inside, I turned to start heading home again. An arm grabbed me from behind and turned me back around before wrapping around me gently.

"Thank you... I'll repay you somehow, I promise. Thank you for this. For everything. Even now you are giving me hope. I... I don't deserve you as a friend, but I'm glad you are anyhow," the words were mumbled into my shoulder as he leaned over me, shoulders hunched as if he waited for me to push him away.

Instead, I wrapped my own arms around him and held him close for a few minutes before I took a single step back, raising a hand to brush his hair out of his face. I ignored the small flinch he gave, smiling at the man I called my friend.

"Arthur, you don't owe me anything. You've already done so much for me that you don't even seem to realize. My name might be Hope, but you are the one who has brought hope back into my own life. You gave me a reason to smile again, a reason to laugh and look forward to each day, each week that has passed since meeting you," I said before leaning closer to whisper into his ear, giving him one more hug before I had to go. "Even though someday I might not be able to hear your laughter, as long as I can see you smile when that time comes, that will be enough for me. So smile, Arthur. No matter what comes, if you can still smile at me when you see me, that will be all I ever ask of you."

Stepping further away, making it obvious that I was ready to head home even if I wanted to stay, I saw him curve his lips into a tremulous smile as a single tear ran down his cheek. Raising a hand, I wiped it away and gave him the best smile I could in response.

"You'll be okay Arthur. You're so much stronger than anyone knows and if things get too hard to handle on your own... You know where to find me now. You don't have to do this alone, not anymore," I said before turning around and walking to the elevator, waiting until the doors opened and I stepped inside before I brought my hands up to my face and wiped away the tears that had begun falling.

Why did life have to be so hard on such an amazing person? Did life always seek out the kindest people just to see how much they could take before they broke?


	6. Chapter 6

I'd barely managed to climb out of my bed in time to reach the phone, almost having missed the insistent ringing it had been making for an unknown period of time. Lifting the receiver to my ear, I muffled my yawn with my hand before giving a tired greeting.

"Hello, this is Hope. Can I help you?" I turned my head slightly as another yawn escaped my mouth, sitting on the bed as the phone's cord stretched to accommodate how far I had moved from the base of the unit.

"Hope, this is Doctor Cadwell. I'm calling to let you know that your medical expenses will no longer be covered by your... provider. It seems there was an incident a few nights ago and... well, I'm sure you can find out about it in the news. It's being covered in all of the papers, after all. If you want, we can meet and discuss payment options, otherwise, I'm afraid that your next visit will be our final one to discuss the test results," the static-laced voice came through the phone, the quality of the lines in the area causing a low hum of background noise as Dr. Cadwell spoke.

"Oh... Um, I should go then. I'll... I'll see you next time. Bye," I said as I hung up the phone, my mind racing at a mile a minute.

What could have happened to cause that man to stop covering my medical expenses? Had he changed his mind? But Dr. Cadwell had commented about an incident of some kind? And the news. Yes, I should go and see what the newspaper had to say, since my TV had given out finally and I hadn't had the money to replace it yet. But a paper, that was much easier to afford than a TV set was!

* * *

I sat in the chair at the cafe, my eyes wide as I stared at the paper in my hands. I could barely believe what I had read, the news so unbelievable, even with how bad Gotham had gotten over the passing years. Of course, I knew that there had to be something more to the story than what the news reported since I doubt that there had been a witness to the events beyond the person who had committed the acts, but even so... Even so, it was just... shocking.

Reaching out a trembling hand, I grabbed the coffee I had ordered and took a careful sip, remembering how it had nearly burned my tongue when I had taken the first sit after it had been set down on the table earlier. With a clumsy clatter, it was sat back down as my eyes roamed to the profile drawing they'd included on the front page.

Bringing the fingers of one hand up from where it held the page, I ran my fingertips over the drawing of the "mask" they said the murderer had worn, my mind wandering back to the previous day and the look on Arthur's face as he'd made one single comment. Could it? Would he? Had he actually...

More importantly, knowing what I knew about _that_ man, did it really matter to me if my friend had been the one to put the bullet in his back?

Standing up, I thrust the paper into the trash before walking out the door, leaving behind a wad of bills and change on the table next to the barely touched coffee. Walking back toward my apartment, I felt my lips curl up into a trembling smile as I saw people running past wearing masks, looking almost like demented versions of...

"Carnival, I'm seeing you everywhere I look. You're finally being noticed," I whispered, releasing a laugh that quickly turned into a sob as I pushed past a cluster of people shouting in anger.


End file.
